Ignorant Songs I Like Way Too Much

Disclaimer: Shout-out to Issa Rae for her kindred spirit when it comes to all things ignant.

Now, while I take great pride is scribing about relevant social and political issues, I’m also half-goon. I may be a father and a fiancé, but I’m also an official spokesperson for strippers and alcoholic beverages in Red Solo Cups. With that being said, today’s post is all about ignorant ass songs I have no valid reason for liking. I’m fully aware of the fact some of these tunes may hold us back as a culture, but dammit, they’re catchy as shit, man. It’s the yin and yang of life, son. The “righteous and the ratchet” as Charlamagne Tha God has so eloquently stated. Every single one of us has a stash of music we wouldn’t be able to readily explain to someone if they asked about it. In any case, I’ve decided to gladly share some of my goonery with you today. Why? Because, why the hell not, son? Spring is (hopefully) around the corner and I need justification to roll down all of my windows and open the sunroof. Anyway, enough talking, man. Let’s bring on the fuckery. Enjoy!

P.S. There’s a common theme with every single one of these tracks. See if you can figure it out. I’ll give you one hint: it involves the production.

10 Years Of ‘The College Dropout’

First off, I need to say this: Kanye West‘s The College Dropout changed my life. I can still vividly remember abusing all of Ye’s mixtapes, impatiently waiting for this album to drop. Being an 18-year-old rapper at the time, it completely changed my outlook on the type of topics that could be discussed in a Hip Hop song. With that being said, this record is hands down one of the greatest pieces of art ever released, regardless of genre. Say what you want about Kanye, this man is responsible for some of the greatest music and this is the album that started it all. So, since his debut is officially 10 years old today, which makes me old as shit, let’s celebrate its influence and legacy.

Now that the year is 2014, we as a people need to resign to the fact the Kanye West of old is gone. Since he’s busy with Kim Kardashian, ranting onstage and telling people they don’t have the answers, the soul sampling dude who called himself “Kanye To The” is no longer in regular rotation. While I’m still an unabashed fan of every project he’s dropped, Yeezus included, I will always have an affinity for his “Chipmunk Soul” period. Side note, the hyperlink I just attached is in German. That’s all I could find, son! Sue me.

In any case, I think people forgot just how revolutionary this album was when it dropped. Back in the early 2000s, if you weren’t a gangsta rapper, you didn’t have a career. At the time, 50 Cent was our Lord and Savior and a lot of people weren’t trying to hear social commentary from a man who wore pink Polo sweaters. Hell, his own record label didn’t even really believe in his career as an artist. They just wanted his instrumentals. Despite that, Kanye almost single-handedly changed the image a rapper could have. Artists like Drake, Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole wouldn’t be able to exist if Ye didn’t kick down the door first. Side note, Drake REALLY wouldn’t exist if he didn’t jack Ye’s 808s & Heartbreak style, but that’s an entirely different discussion, son. Anyway, despite the fact it’s fashionable to hate on Ye and his antics, he’s easily one of music’s biggest influences. This CANNOT be disputed.

All in all, now that it’s been a decade since his debut album dropped, I’m going to play the entire thing on repeat for the whole week. I mean, that’s what you have to do when you can’t pick a favorite song, man. With that being said, I command you to join me in the festivities. What would Yeezus do? He’d tell you to play the damn album and enjoy that shit! The both of us have spoken! Good day.

Deport Justin Bieber

Now, I have no idea why, but I’m actually a little worried about Justin Bieber. Ok, that’s not true, but seriously, someone needs to come get this kid ASAP. While he’s hardly the first young celeb to lose his cotdamn mind in public, the rate at which he’s spiraling out of control is alarming. I mean shit, it feels like he’s already outdone Lindsey Lohan in a short two-year period. Say what you want about his music, homie is a talented youth, and if he keeps up the bullshit, his career could be over más rápido. Go ask Amanda Bynes.

Honestly, run down the line, son. What isn’t this little twerp doing nowadays? He’s been arrested for alleged drunken drag racing, police found cocaine in his home, he’s suspected of being addicted to Lean and he even accused his mother of being his Xanax supplier. So you mean to tell me, a dude who still has “teen” in his age could potentially be using alcohol, weed, cocaine, Lean and Xanax? Now, I’ve done a fair amount of drugs in my life, but Good Lord, bruh! Your man is damn near a walking antibiotic at this point. Who needs a pharmacy when you could simply check Bieber’s bloodstream?

While I could make a bunch of “go back to Canada” jokes about Bieber, the fact of the matter is, if the dude’s really as far gone as it seems, deportation is the least of his worries. You know you fucked up if you don’t even make it to the “27 Club.” I’m going to need Usher to stop fronting like he’s really Sugar Ray Leonard and take some time to talk to his protégé. I know it’s hard to say no to the fast life, but damn son, you can’t have all of the vices. At least choose one, man. Then again, what do I know? I may or may not have had a drink while writing this. Good day.

F*ck You, Macklemore!

Let me start this post by saying I’m actually a fan of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. Honestly, I cringe when I read the comments section on most Hip Hop blogs. The amount of racist and sexist statements made about these dudes on a regular basis is absolutely mind-boggling. In any case, the diatribe I’m about to engage in isn’t directed at them, exactly. It’s more so directed at the tomfoolerous industry bullshit they happen to benefit from. With that being said, don’t judge me as I rant while listening to “Neon Cathedral.”

Now, I can’t lie, son. I’m having some trouble formulating my thoughts right now. Firstly, because I’m just getting over acute bronchitis and borderline pneumonia. Meaning, my body weary, son. Secondly, because I simply can’t understand anyone who would think Macklemore’s The Heist was a better Rap-anything than Kendrick Lamar‘s good kid, m.A.A.d city. Yes, Mack had the bigger radio records, but I’m sick of Pop-appeal overwriting legitimate quality. I mean, run down the line, son! Kendrick had better rhymes, flows, stories, concepts, beats, features, cohesion, and not to mention, his father was fucking hilarious on the skits. What more could you ask for, man? How could Mack win Best Rap Album over that?! When it comes to Hip Hop, we’re going to be talking about Kendrick’s album 10 years from now. You think the culture is going to give a shit about “Thrift Shop?” I highly doubt it, bruh. Even Mack knows he shouldn’t have won that award. What else needs to be said? This is yet another example of Black culture being appropriated and our pertinent players being usurped. Thanks, America!

In the end, fuck Macklemore, fuck Ryan Lewis, fuck the Grammys as a staff, record label and as a motherfucking crew. And you if you want to be down with the Grammys, then fuck you too! Ok, I didn’t mean any of that. I listened to “Hit ‘Em Up” before I wrote this. Blame it on 2Pac, man! All in all, last night was another L for Hip Hop. Then again, why am I even surprised? Muhfuckas never luhed us, son! Good day.