Disclaimer: I don’t give two shits about what y’all think, son. That title is too clever. I impress the hell out of myself sometimes, man. I’m a cold son of a bitch!
Damn, damn, damn, James! It’s such a dirty game out here, son. It seems as if everyday, some people get stupider and others become more trifling. No situation currently epitomizes that dichotomy more than Raymond Felton‘s recent predicament. In this case, he’s the pure idiot and his soon-to-be ex-wife is the trifling party. As if the New York Knicks‘ season wasn’t criminal enough, I guess Felton felt it was needed to add a gun charge to the mix. It’s brilliant, son. Just brilliant.
Now, in case you haven’t heard, Felton turned himself in yesterday morning and was charged with criminal possession of a weapon in the second, third and fourth-degrees. Apparently, his estranged wife brought a gun to the 20th police precinct in Manhattan and claimed it was his. In addition, she asserted he waved the gun around in an “aggressive way” on four occasions. All in all, if everything is as clear as it appears, Felton is fucked. Like, super fucked, son. A gun charge in NY? That could be a minimum of three and a half years in prison if he’s convicted.
Ok, now that the facts are out of the way, I have two feelings on this matter. First, Felton is a cotdamn idiot. Does he not realize what state he’s in? Has he never heard of Plaxico Burress, Lil Wayne or Ja Rule? All three of those fools went to jail for carrying a weapon in New York. Why on Earth would he risk his career like that? Yes, I know he’s fat and playing like absolute basura, but his $10 million contract is lightyears ahead of the money most of us are seeing. The words “dumb,” “stupid” and “buffoonish” don’t even begin to describe the mess he’s put himself in.
Second, his wife is officially on Jedi-level “Snitchy McRat” status. It’s one thing to file for divorce, but turning him in on a weapons charge is a completely different beast, man. I understand people have their differences, but c’mon son! What part of the game is this, man? Just divorce the dude, woman! You have to send him to jail too?! People are absolutely ruthless these days, son. On top of that, her story sounds shaky to me. She claims he waved the gun around, but there’s conflicting stories about whether he ever pointed it at her. So what exactly is she trying to say? Was she or was she not in danger? It sounds like a bunch of malarky to fuck his situation up.
In the end, I’ve said all I have to say, son. We’ll see how this all plays out, but if either one of these individuals had common sense, this debacle could’ve been avoided. Alas, that’s not how humanity works, man. Viva la Homo sapiens!