Shut The F*ck Up, Kobe!

I’ll be the first to admit, it’s very easy to hate on Kobe Bryant. While most people hate him because of his douchebaggy ways on the court, he’s also no stranger to off-the-court tomfoolery. With that being said, I’m not as surprised as I thought I’d be by his recent comments regarding Trayvon Martin. I mean, talk about putting your foot in your mouth, son. Even if you find merit in Kobe’s stance on “societal progression,” it’s abundantly clear he chose the WRONG time to express that belief.

Now, where do I start with the fuckery? Ok, let me begin by saying, if I wasn’t aware of the context of his statement, I’d be inclined to agree with Kobe. Any group, regardless of race, color, creed, etc., shouldn’t just come to a contemporary’s defense without being knowledgable of the situation. Nobody wants to jump off of a ledge only to find out they were mistaken about the pretenses of the incident. Side note, this ideal doesn’t count during a bar fight. Even if my dude is wrong, I’m punching the shit out of whoever else, son. In any case, this type of thought process has no business being brought up when discussing the death of Trayvon.

Now, for those who are unaware, Kobe’s comments came as a response to the Miami Heat donning hoodies in support of the slain teen. Why would this fool choose that particular moment to throw daggers at the Heat players? Since when is it wrong to recognize the life of someone who was unjustly murdered? Then, after realizing how much flack he was catching for his words, Kobe tried to backtrack and say he believed Trayvon was “wronged.” Well, if that’s what he truly believes, that makes his criticism that much more ridiculous. If he actually feels the system failed Trayvon, his condemnation of others for reacting has absolutely no merit. This would mean the Heat players, and anyone who showed solidarity, are completely justified in their actions. Way to make yourself look like more of an asshole than you already are, Kobe Bryant.

All in all, this clown should just get back to focusing on “hero ball.” That’s all he’s really good for anyway. As a man who doesn’t pass the ball, maybe he shouldn’t pass commentary either. Keep your stupidity to yourself, Bean.

Let’s Just Skip To The Eastern Conference Finals

Normally, I try to think of some clever quip I can utilize as a title for a post. This is not one of those days, people. Sometimes, getting straight to the point is the best option. Now, as you can clearly tell from the header, the NBA playoffs are heavily on my mind, bro. After watching last night’s rumble between the Miami Heat and the Indiana Pacers, all I can think about is how dope the Eastern Conference Finals is going to be. I mean, at this point, why are we even playing the rest of the regular season? Let’s just skip the formalities and head straight to the slugfest.

Now, before reading the rest of this post, I want everyone to just take a look at the current league standings. At first glance, I’m sure you’ll witness something quite interesting: the 8th seed in the Western Conference has a better record than the 3rd seed in the Eastern Conference. Yes, you read that right, son. That’s how fucking bad the Eastern Conference is. If it wasn’t for the Heat and the Pacers, the entire East might have been demoted to the Development League. Shit, at this point, they should just do that anyway. For God’s sake, the 7th and 8th seeds in the East don’t even have winning records! They don’t deserve a damn spot in the playoffs. Besides, nobody wants to see the Charlotte Bobcats or the Atlanta Hawks play anyway. Side note, don’t even get me started on the bum ass New York Knicks, son. Fuck what you heard, Phil Jackson can’t save that circus act, man.

With all of that being said, let’s all avoid the Eastern Conference tomfoolery. We all know the series between the Heat and the Pacers is going to seven games, so let’s just enjoy that. This rivalry has everything you want, son. LeBron James versus Paul George, Roy Hibbert dominating inside and Lance Stephenson being the most Brooklyn nigga you can imagine. It’s Grade A entertainment, bro. I don’t know what else to say, man. Dear God, please bestow upon us a time machine so we can skip the next month and a half. Thank you, kindly. Amen.