Well, well, what do we have here? Another edition of my prestigious Fuckery Awards. Truth be told, I completely forgot I was approaching my 300th post. Regardless, there’s no way I could let this time pass without commemorating the special brand of “what the fuck” showcased by some of our public figures. If you’re unfamiliar with the format of this post, you can look here and here. Other than that, let’s get down with the getdown, shall we?
Fuckery Award for Most Fuckerous Political Behavior –> Anyone who voted against background checks for gun purchases. That’s right, this goes out to both the Democrats and Republicans. If you’re the dumbass who decided “hey, we don’t need to check whether a gun owner is batshit crazy,” then this award belongs to you. I’ve already ranted about how disappointment I am in the Senate, and I don’t feel any better about it now. These shit pellets don’t give a damn about our safety and they need to be put out of office, immediately.
Fuckery Award for Most Fuckerous Musical Behavior –> A tie between Lil Wayne and Rick Ross. Honestly, I couldn’t make a decision between these 2, because they both said some unbelievably tomfoolerous shit. Side bar, “tomfoolerous” isn’t even close to being a word. Now on one hand, you have Weezy talking about beating pussy up like Emmett Till, and on the other hand, you have Rozay trying to put Molly in chicks’ drinks without them being aware. Not to mention, in Usher‘s “Lemme See,” Ross definitely compared himself to Trayvon Martin, simply because he had a hoodie on. Funny how no one seems to bring that one up. All in all, I can’t even begin to explain all of things wrong with these statements. They simply defy all human logic. In any case, these clowns need to stop rapping, ASAP.
Fuckery Award for Most Fuckerous Athletic Behavior –> Oscar Pistorius. While I don’t know all of the facts of this case, this man’s reasoning for killing his girlfriend doesn’t add up. So let me get this straight, he thinks there’s an intruder in the house, but doesn’t put on his prosthetic legs and fires 4 shots into his bathroom? He has no visual confirmation of anyone else in the house, doesn’t check to see if his woman is sleeping next to him like he originally thought, but just goes Rambo on someone? Naaaaaah son, I don’t know if I buy that story. I’m sure we’ll all find out the truth in the end, but right now, he needs more people. A LOT more people.
Well, there you have it, folks. These are the individuals who have mastered the secret art of “you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, son.” Not all of us have that innate ability, so just leave it to the professionals, ok? I’ll catch you fine people on the flipside. Good day and shots, shots, shots, shots, shots.