Posts Tagged ‘Hip Hop’

New Lauryn? Nah, I’m Good

Posted: May 7, 2013 in Articles, Audio
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If you can recall my previous post, I’ve already shared my disillusionment with Lauryn Hill. No one can ever speak ill about her legendary career, but when you bring up Ms. Hill, you also have to bring up the fuckery. The shattered voice, the 512 kids and the tax issues. Truthfully, only the 1st item on that list is any of my business, but unfortunately, the 3rd item is impacting the 1st. Meaning, Lauryn had to sign a record contract in order to pay off her overdue taxes. What we’re left with is a brand new song I wish I didn’t hear. No matter how much die-hard fans want to like this travesty, I cannot co-sign this new shit. With that being said, I am prepared for the hate.

In case you missed it, Lauryn put out a new song the other day called “Neurotic Society.” Side bar, you can listen to the track below. Anyway, I have a few issues with this song, so let’s start with the beat. For someone as musically talented as Lauryn, this is the best instrumental she could make/find? If there was ever a beat that just seems to “happen” with no rhyme or reason, it’s this one. It’s overly loud and boisterous and doesn’t really go anywhere. Just a bunch of unnecessary drum hits and preset keyboard sounds. Next, there’s her flow. Did she even remotely try to rhyme on beat? She’s easily one of the greatest rappers ever, so what kind of tomfoolery was she engaging in here? Yes, I know she had an important message to convey, but all of it got lost in her non-rhythmic speech and poor beat selection. If she simply wanted to share her ideals, she could drop a spoken word album or some shit. If she’s going to be a musician, make sure the music is actually musical. Cool? Cool.

All in all, like I previously said, you can listen to the song below. Some people won’t agree with me, but fuck it, this is my site, son. If Lauryn decides to put out some dope shit, I will be the first one to shout it out from the mountaintops. Until then, no, I’m not interested.

C’mon, Mister Cee

Posted: May 6, 2013 in Articles
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DJ Mister Cee

The last time I wrote about DJ Mister Cee, I spoke about how the Black community can be intolerant to homosexuality, causing individuals to deny who they really are. Today, I only need to talk about Mister Cee. This man is so far in the closet, his denials are absolutely implausible. Maybe it’s because he’s an old school Brooklyn dude, but he refuses to acknowledge what seems evident to everyone else: he is gay. With that being said, today’s post is a plea for Mister Cee to come clean, in hopes it will set him free.

Let me make one thing clear: you can’t claim heterosexuality when you’ve been busted twice for soliciting a male prostitute. Not once, but TWICE! During the first recorded encounter, he was getting head from a dude in his car, and this time, he tried to get down with a dude who ended up being a cop. The evidence is overwhelming, bruh. The thing is, I don’t think he understands we’re not judging him for being gay. We’re judging him for getting caught in ridiculous situations and then visibly lying about it. If he just decided to date whoever he wanted to date, we’d let him rock. Who gives a shit about what he does in his bedroom? Just make sure to have the jams rocking when I turn on Hot 97 at noon.

If Mister Cee would just admit who he is, he wouldn’t have to hide his impulses in dark alleys and make ludicrous retorts on radio stations. I’m happy to say we’re living in a society that’s becoming increasingly supportive of the LGBT community, so he doesn’t have to duck in shame from his reality. There’s no better time than right now to live out in the open. Yes, it would’ve been difficult for him to do this 20 years ago, but the ‘90s are gone and we’re slowly becoming more magnanimous people. As seen with Jason Collins, there’s support out there for guys (and gals) who own up to how they feel. Hopefully, just hopefully, Mister Cee will get the message.

3rd Annual Fuckery Awards

Posted: April 22, 2013 in Articles
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Fuckery

Well, well, what do we have here? Another edition of my prestigious Fuckery Awards. Truth be told, I completely forgot I was approaching my 300th post. Regardless, there’s no way I could let this time pass without commemorating the special brand of “what the fuck” showcased by some of our public figures. If you’re unfamiliar with the format of this post, you can look here and here. Other than that, let’s get down with the getdown, shall we?

Fuckery Award for Most Fuckerous Political Behavior –> Anyone who voted against background checks for gun purchases. That’s right, this goes out to both the Democrats and Republicans. If you’re the dumbass who decided “hey, we don’t need to check whether a gun owner is batshit crazy,” then this award belongs to you. I’ve already ranted about how disappointment I am in the Senate, and I don’t feel any better about it now. These shit pellets don’t give a damn about our safety and they need to be put out of office, immediately.

Fuckery Award for Most Fuckerous Musical Behavior –> A tie between Lil Wayne and Rick Ross. Honestly, I couldn’t make a decision between these 2, because they both said some unbelievably tomfoolerous shit. Side bar, “tomfoolerous” isn’t even close to being a word. Now on one hand, you have Weezy talking about beating pussy up like Emmett Till, and on the other hand, you have Rozay trying to put Molly in chicks’ drinks without them being aware. Not to mention, in Usher‘s “Lemme See,” Ross definitely compared himself to Trayvon Martin, simply because he had a hoodie on. Funny how no one seems to bring that one up. All in all, I can’t even begin to explain all of things wrong with these statements. They simply defy all human logic. In any case, these clowns need to stop rapping, ASAP.

Fuckery Award for Most Fuckerous Athletic Behavior –> Oscar Pistorius. While I don’t know all of the facts of this case, this man’s reasoning for killing his girlfriend doesn’t add up. So let me get this straight, he thinks there’s an intruder in the house, but doesn’t put on his prosthetic legs and fires 4 shots into his bathroom? He has no visual confirmation of anyone else in the house, doesn’t check to see if his woman is sleeping next to him like he originally thought, but just goes Rambo on someone? Naaaaaah son, I don’t know if I buy that story. I’m sure we’ll all find out the truth in the end, but right now, he needs more people. A LOT more people.

Well, there you have it, folks. These are the individuals who have mastered the secret art of “you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, son.” Not all of us have that innate ability, so just leave it to the professionals, ok? I’ll catch you fine people on the flipside. Good day and shots, shots, shots, shots, shots.

Rappers Rapping Dumb Sh*t

Posted: April 10, 2013 in Articles
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LL & Ross

I can’t even lie, son. These are the times I’m ashamed to say I’m a rapper. The words that leave some of these dude’s mouths defy all logic and reason. As much as I try to defend Hip-Hop, people like LL Cool J and Rick Ross make it difficult. Now, before I continue, let me say this post will be a little longer than usual. There’s a lot of fuckery to address and no time to waste. Without further ado, let the roasting begin.

First, let me start off by saying LL Cool J is a legend. He’s single-handedly responsible for some of my all-time favorite songs, which is why it hurts me to do this. With that being said, what the fuck was that man thinking when he recorded “Accidental Racist” with Brad Paisley? I understand the intention behind the song, but fuck intention, the execution was atrocious, son. How many cliché’s can you fit in one song, man? On one hand, you’ve got Paisley feeling sorry for the South‘s historical beratement of the Black population, but he still wants to fly his Confederate flag. Bruh, that flag is the premier representation of oppression. It will never be cool, it will never be OK. To make matters worse, you’ve got James (yes, he will be referred to as “James” for the rest of this post) stating he’ll forget about the “iron chains” and the damn flag if they’ll excuse his sagging pants, durag and jewelry. James, are you serious, son? No, for real, are you fucking serious? It’s bad enough to represent our entire population as a monolith, but that’s the image you want to portray? You mean to tell me, during the entire recording process, nobody stopped and said “hey guys, this is a terrible fucking idea?” Honestly, I could easily keep ranting about this, but my mind can no longer process the stupidity.

Second, I’m sure we’ve all heard the avalanche of criticism that’s been launched Rick Ross’ way by now. This fool had the gall to speak about drugging and raping a woman on “UOENO,” and was baffled when people gave him shit for it. Bruh, if some chick, unknowingly, drank a Molly-infused drink and had her lady parts touched, that’s called rape. Nowhere in those bars was consent given. Honestly, I’m just as confused by his confusion to the reaction as I am the fact he said it in the first place. Seriously, how dumb can you be, son? Now, there’s dudes like Meek Mill coming to his aid, completely missing the damn point. I, for one, will not let Meek’s response slide. Rappers love talking about how real their lyrics are, but when they get called out for the bullshit they had the nerve to utter, now it’s just entertainment. Come the fuck on, son. Ok Meek, if that’s the case, then none of your rhymes about guns, drugs, bitches and prison should be believed. If it’s just entertainment, then you’re nothing but a performer, just like your boss is. I mean, we already know his “background” is 100% horse manure, so we’ll just put you in the same class as him. Cool? Anyone who is man enough to rap foolishness should be man enough to take the backlash when it hits them. No excuses. That “defense” was pathetic.

Rappers never like to take responsibility for their actions. We always hear about how all rap artists are unfairly targeted for being negative and dangerous, but it’s shit like this that doesn’t help the cause. Being a musician who has grown up on Hip-Hop, I’ll never give up on the genre, but if we really want to make a difference, we need to stop supporting bullshit. Fin.

No Thank You, Lil Wayne

Posted: March 27, 2013 in Articles
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I Am Not a Human Being II

Let me start this post by saying I’m a Lil Wayne fan. Or rather, I’m a fan of who Lil Wayne used to be. There was a period of time from 2003 until about 2006 where nobody, and I mean NOBODY, was rapping better than Dwayne Carter. In an era where fans have to choose between lyrics or swag, mid-2000s Weezy had both. Now, after fondly remembering the good times, let’s come back to our present reality. The 2013 incarnation of Lil Wayne is terrible. No seriously, he’s fucking awful now. I can’t take anything he says seriously, and with that being said, I have no interest in listening to I Am Not a Human Being II.

Now in case you’ve blocked Wayne out like a lot of people have, homie just dropped a new album yesterday. Due to his track record since Tha Carter III, I’ve slowly lost faith in his ability to make sense on a record, let alone make it enjoyable. While he still has flashes of brilliance, they’re so far and in-between, I just chalk it up to luck at this point. I mean c’mon son, Wayne went from this to “Quick Draw McGraw, I hope you like art.” While he reached his commercial peak with C3 and C4, both of those albums were pure jokes. To me, it just proves people love buying and supporting foolishness. Side bar, I’m glad Justin Timberlake‘s new album is the exception. In any case, if you’ve ever bought a Taylor Swift album, then don’t debate me. By the way, I thought Swift’s music was corny before Kanye West ethered her/himself on national TV.

All in all, it’s probably wrong of me to criticize a body of music before listening to it, but I should be allowed to make a judgment call based on past experiences. Lil Wayne’s music hasn’t been enjoyable since about 2007 and I don’t expect it to be now. With all of that being said, I’ll pass on his new album. Good day.

P.S. My next post isn’t dropping until Tuesday. I’m missing Thursday and Monday because I’ll be busy sinning in Miami. Bawse!

Can ScHoolboy Q Make A Classic?

Posted: March 25, 2013 in Articles, Audio
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ScHoolboy Q

It goes without saying I’m a big fan of Black Hippy and Top Dawg Entertainment. Depending on what mood I’m in, I have a different favorite rapper in the collective. If I want well-crafted storytelling, I’ll go vibe out to some Kendrick Lamar. If I want thought-provoking lyricism, I’ll go listen to some Ab-Soul. If I want to consume copious amounts of alcohol and smack dudes in the street, I’ll go mosh out to some ScHoolboy Q. When Kendrick dropped an indisputable classic with good kid, m.A.A.d city, he put a shit-ton of pressure on Q since he’s next up. So the question of the day is: can ScHoolboy Q make a classic album?

Now before I continue, let me say that I’m a realist. I already know Q doesn’t possess the lyrical prowess of K-Dot or Soulo, but who gives a shit. Homie’s music jams! If you can listen to “Druggys WitH Hoes Again” and not want to take several illegal substances, something is wrong with you. Q makes the music you either want to goon out or have fun to. In my eyes, he has just as many quotables as anyone else because the shit he says is entertaining as hell. As proof, go listen to the 2nd verse of “My Hatin’ Joint” and thank me later. When I’m listening to Q, I’m not looking for Pharoahe Monch-level punchlines. We didn’t expect that from 50 Cent‘s Get Rich or Die Tryin’ and you’d be a fool to say that record isn’t a classic. It’s really all about the songs and the feeling they give you. Q brings you into his world, and needless to say, I’m a cotdamn fan.

All in all, I’m hyped to hear how his Oxymoron album will turn out. He just put out the first single “Yay Yay,” and if the rest of the album sounds like that, TDE and Interscope will definitely be getting my money. Do the right thing and listen to the track below. Please be advised though: listening to this song might inspire random fits of “cooking” and gratuitous thugging in the streets. Good day.

Die Like A Rockstar

Posted: March 18, 2013 in Articles
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Lil Wayne

Disclaimer: It feels good to be home, baby! Feels good to be home! Word to Kanye West.

By now, I’m sure we’ve all heard the news about Lil Wayne. Apparently, homie was found unconscious and taken to the hospital after having a seizure on Friday. This was actually the 2nd time during the week Wayne was hospitalized due to seizures. When you think about the fact he’s only 30-years-old, the idea of his health spiraling out of control like this is insane. While no one knows for sure what’s causing his issues, it’s easy to assume it’s because of drugs. Wayne’s a well-known advocate of weed, lean and who knows what else. All in all, if his incidents are drug-related, somebody needs to holla at that man ASAP. Dying like a rockstar never was and never will be cool.

When TMZ reported Wayne was near death on Friday, the Interwebz lost its shit. Fans were in complete disbelief, while Wayne’s close friends and associates bashed the gossip site for exaggerating the story. In any case, I feel like both sides missed the damn point. On one hand, you have TMZ trying to break a story first, and on the other hand, you have Wayne’s entourage trying to keep a lid on things. Through it all, nothing is being said about the root cause of his problems. If it’s really drugs, as a lot of people suspect, homie needs help instead of a news headline. Through the decades, we’ve lost way too many of our stars to drug abuse. Regardless of genre, there are countless examples of artists who left the world prematurely. Their stories are always romanticized in articles and documentaries, but the fact of the matter is, dying young shouldn’t be praised. I, for one, don’t want to see Lil Wayne suffer the same fate.

In the end, regardless of how you view Lil Wayne, he’s an influential entity. For better or for worse, kids look up to him. We don’t need to give them another example of a life cut short, especially if it could be prevented. Like I said before, I can’t positively say drugs are the culprit, but if so, I hope it gets addressed. I’m still waiting for that dude from the “Walk In” days to come back. Good day.

P.S. Anyone making “at least I don’t have to hear him rap anymore” jokes are douchebags. Regardless of who it is, death or illness is never funny. Go kick rocks on the track at a NASCAR event.

P.P.S. If you haven’t downloaded my QLC EP yet, what are you doing with your life? Do it now!

LC ‘QLC’

Posted: March 1, 2013 in Audio
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QLC

So the day is finally here. My triumphant and glorious return to releasing music. Ok, let me chill, but I’m hyped to say the EP is finally ready to drop. First, I have to give a few shout-outs. Shout-out to 9th Wonder for putting out that Tutankhamen beat tape, which I pillaged and plundered. Shout-out to Rick Torres for mixing and mastering my thoughts. Finally, shout-out to all of my compadres who constantly told me I need to put out new music. With all of that being said, you can stream and download the EP below.

Download

Rappers Don’t Vote

Posted: October 1, 2012 in Articles
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After all of my years as a righteous minister for the Hip-Hop culture, I’ve learned a few things about rappers: they love bitches, money, fast cars, champagne and not voting. It’s amazing to see how many prominent rappers speak out against voting, and then witness their stupidity in explaining their faulty logic. With the Presidential election coming in November, I want to explain to all of the detractors why voting is essential to stopping our country from turning into the Matrix run by Agent Smith.

When I hear rappers like Lupe Fiasco and Kendrick Lamar speak about how voting doesn’t solve anything, I turn red with anger. Sidebar, as Black as I am, yes, I can still turn red with anger. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? In any case, this logic plagues a good number of people, and now is the time to put an end to the nonsense. Fact of the matter is, voting is one of the only real liberties we have in this country, and by giving up our right to do so, we also give up our power to influence policy. Let’s be real, politicians dictate policy, and if we don’t have anyone even remotely representing our ideals, how do we expect anything to change? As Black people, there’s especially no excuse for us not to vote. When examining this country’s history from poll taxes to the “Three-Fifths Compromise” to finally getting the right to vote in 1965, we’d be disrespecting all of the people who died fighting to secure our basic rights as people. The establishment tried to suppress our voices to ensure we didn’t have a say in how this country progresses. When we don’t vote, we’re playing right into their hands.

The idea of one vote not counting might be the most ass backwards way of thinking. If we all thought that way, we’d lose everyone’s voice in one shot. When considering the fact 17 states have enacted new voter suppression laws since 2010, that’s exactly what those in power are looking for. Now I’m just as skeptical of politicians as the next man, but when we sit idly by, we have no right to complain about this country’s direction. Honestly, I can’t take Lupe’s political criticisms seriously now, because I don’t think he really helps the cause. Yeah I know all about his involvement in Occupy Wall Street, but that movement never had a truly definitive goal. Then again, that’s another story all together. If the goal was the redistribution of wealth, you know what would help? Legislation. If taxes were raised for the upper class, that would help offset the monetary strain on both middle and lower middle class families. However, in order to do that, we’d need representatives to pass these laws, which in turn, brings us back to voting. Now do I believe voting is the be-all and end-all to changing society? Of course not, but why give up a valuable weapon?

All in all, the election is approaching faster than we think and it’s time for all of us to register. I’m not going to tell everyone who to vote for, but I’m going to suggest we all vote. Then again, my mind can’t grasp anyone who’s willing to vote for a man who doesn’t care about 47% of the country. Now seeing as how I’ve been gone for a month, I figured I’d come back in style. I’ve been meaning to write about this subject for a while, and now is the perfect time. It’s about to get serious in November. I’m ready. Chuuuch.

Don’t F*ck With LL Cool J

Posted: August 23, 2012 in Articles
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As I’m writing this post, I’m legitimately laughing out loud. Sidebar, based on the recent Todd Akin tomfoolery, this will be the last time I use any variation of the word “legitimately” for an indefinite period of time. In any case, after Wednesday‘s home intruder incident, there is a new commandment: thou shalt not fuck with LL Cool J. This is actually going to be a short post today because the entire objective is making fun of Jonathan Kirby, the burglar who made the stupid choice of breaking into James Todd Smith’s house.

Now if you haven’t heard, Kirby broke into LL’s house early Wednesday morning. After LL heard a noise coming from his kitchen, he went to investigate and discovered Kirby. When Kirby attacked him, LL proceeded to beat the living shit out of the dude. Now when I say “living shit,” I mean Mr. Smith broke the dude’s nose, jaw and ribs. Let me say that again. Jonathan Kirby, a would-be burglar, broke into LL Cool J’s house and got his nose, jaw and ribs broken. Good Lord, clearly this man didn’t plan this one out properly. At least scope out the house before you try to rob it. That way, you don’t run into a 6’2″ Black man who spends an enormous amount of time in the gym.

I don’t know what else there is to say about this. They should use Kirby’s injuries on an episode of Scared Straight. I’m sure dudes would think twice before running up in someone’s house. Chuuuch.

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