I Can No Longer Hate LeBron James

Posted: May 8, 2013 in Articles
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Disclaimer: Ok, judging from that embedded image, maybe I can still hate a little bit.

While I’ve spent a good amount of time on this site throwing darts in LeBron James‘ direction, today is the day I cease and desist. Fact of the matter is, he’s too great of a player for me to continue hating. As much as I prefer being “that guy,” I have no legitimate arguments to help my case. With that being said, I shall give credit where credit is due.

Anyone who’s visited this blog before has probably read a couple of posts going for the jugular. Truthfully, I didn’t go after homie due to an inability to play. I went after him because he had all of the talent in the world and played like a bitch during crucial moments. Side bar, if you feel the need to debate me, go revisit the 2010 Eastern Conference Finals against the Boston Celtics and the 2011 Finals against the Dallas Mavericks. He quit on his team in the 1st scenario and completely shat a brick during the 2nd one. When you’re as talented as LBJ, anything less than total domination is absolutely unacceptable. Yes, his numbers were always good on paper, but when shit got real, he was nowhere to be found.

Anyway, he thoroughly disrespected me and every other “hater” with his 2012 season. Last year’s playoffs saw him playing at a level I haven’t seen since Michael Jordan. His Finals performance was one of the scariest things I’ve ever witnessed, son. It’s like he woke up one day, finally realized he was by far the most gifted player in the league and proceeded to shit on everyone. Including this season, his number are still getting better, bruh. How the fuck are they still getting better?! After the regular season this year, he had career highs in FG%, 3P% and rebounds. These days, it’s not often I’m legitimately amazed by a player. I find myself consistently saying “oh shit” when watching him and Steph Curry play. Side bar, Curry isn’t human. He. Is. Not. Human! In any case, I’ve decided to do the grown-up thing and give that man his props.

All in all, despite all of the great things I’ve just said about LeBron James, I’m still a New York Knicks fan. Which means in order for us to have a chance against the Miami Heat, we need to become the 1989 Detroit Pistons. It’s the “Jordan Rules” all over again, bitch! Bring it!

New Lauryn? Nah, I’m Good

Posted: May 7, 2013 in Articles, Audio
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If you can recall my previous post, I’ve already shared my disillusionment with Lauryn Hill. No one can ever speak ill about her legendary career, but when you bring up Ms. Hill, you also have to bring up the fuckery. The shattered voice, the 512 kids and the tax issues. Truthfully, only the 1st item on that list is any of my business, but unfortunately, the 3rd item is impacting the 1st. Meaning, Lauryn had to sign a record contract in order to pay off her overdue taxes. What we’re left with is a brand new song I wish I didn’t hear. No matter how much die-hard fans want to like this travesty, I cannot co-sign this new shit. With that being said, I am prepared for the hate.

In case you missed it, Lauryn put out a new song the other day called “Neurotic Society.” Side bar, you can listen to the track below. Anyway, I have a few issues with this song, so let’s start with the beat. For someone as musically talented as Lauryn, this is the best instrumental she could make/find? If there was ever a beat that just seems to “happen” with no rhyme or reason, it’s this one. It’s overly loud and boisterous and doesn’t really go anywhere. Just a bunch of unnecessary drum hits and preset keyboard sounds. Next, there’s her flow. Did she even remotely try to rhyme on beat? She’s easily one of the greatest rappers ever, so what kind of tomfoolery was she engaging in here? Yes, I know she had an important message to convey, but all of it got lost in her non-rhythmic speech and poor beat selection. If she simply wanted to share her ideals, she could drop a spoken word album or some shit. If she’s going to be a musician, make sure the music is actually musical. Cool? Cool.

All in all, like I previously said, you can listen to the song below. Some people won’t agree with me, but fuck it, this is my site, son. If Lauryn decides to put out some dope shit, I will be the first one to shout it out from the mountaintops. Until then, no, I’m not interested.

C’mon, Mister Cee

Posted: May 6, 2013 in Articles
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DJ Mister Cee

The last time I wrote about DJ Mister Cee, I spoke about how the Black community can be intolerant to homosexuality, causing individuals to deny who they really are. Today, I only need to talk about Mister Cee. This man is so far in the closet, his denials are absolutely implausible. Maybe it’s because he’s an old school Brooklyn dude, but he refuses to acknowledge what seems evident to everyone else: he is gay. With that being said, today’s post is a plea for Mister Cee to come clean, in hopes it will set him free.

Let me make one thing clear: you can’t claim heterosexuality when you’ve been busted twice for soliciting a male prostitute. Not once, but TWICE! During the first recorded encounter, he was getting head from a dude in his car, and this time, he tried to get down with a dude who ended up being a cop. The evidence is overwhelming, bruh. The thing is, I don’t think he understands we’re not judging him for being gay. We’re judging him for getting caught in ridiculous situations and then visibly lying about it. If he just decided to date whoever he wanted to date, we’d let him rock. Who gives a shit about what he does in his bedroom? Just make sure to have the jams rocking when I turn on Hot 97 at noon.

If Mister Cee would just admit who he is, he wouldn’t have to hide his impulses in dark alleys and make ludicrous retorts on radio stations. I’m happy to say we’re living in a society that’s becoming increasingly supportive of the LGBT community, so he doesn’t have to duck in shame from his reality. There’s no better time than right now to live out in the open. Yes, it would’ve been difficult for him to do this 20 years ago, but the ‘90s are gone and we’re slowly becoming more magnanimous people. As seen with Jason Collins, there’s support out there for guys (and gals) who own up to how they feel. Hopefully, just hopefully, Mister Cee will get the message.

Nightmares Of A 3-0 Series Lead

Posted: May 2, 2013 in Articles
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The year was 2004 and I was a bright-eyed sophomore in college. See, in the world I lived in, the sky was blue and teams who were up 3-0 in a best-of-7 series always won. However, the New York Yankees had to fuck it all up and shatter my world. After having a commanding lead over the Boston Red Sox in the ALCS, these fuckers lost 4 straight games. Seeing as how I went to school in Boston, this might have been the worst possible thing to ever happen to me. Needless to say, after watching my New York Knicks lose their 2nd straight game to the Boston Celtics, my nightmares are slowly resurfacing.

For a team with minimal playoff experience, the last thing the Knicks should want to do is play a Game 6 on the road against a former world champion. Fact of the matter is, despite their accelerated age, the Celtics are no strangers to this type of pressure. Just 2 years ago, these dudes pushed the Miami Heat to 7 games, when everyone simply assumed LeBron James and company would steamroll them. From the beginning of the series, I told people, “never count these dudes out.” Now did I get comfortable with a 3-0 lead? Absolutely, but then Carmelo Anthony decided it was a perfect time to shit the bed. His shooting percentage these last 2 games have been atrocious, man. Here’s a message for coach Mike Woodson: go with the hot hand! As much as I enjoy hating on Raymond Felton, he’s been holding it down while the rest of the team collapses. In addition, if JR Smith wants to keep shooting like he did the last game, he might as well return to suspension, son. While I still believe the Knicks will close these dudes out, they’ve just made their lives a hell of a lot harder.

All in all, I’m probably overreacting, but when you’ve seen a team you love blow a 3-0 series lead, you tend to panic. Also, my psyche wouldn’t be able to take another New York team epically failing to a Boston team. Side bar, is “epically” even a word? It sounds wrong, but fuck it, I’ll use it anyway. In any case, if shit goes sour, I might have to start assaulting all of my New England associates. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that, son. Good day.

P.S. I know this is completely off topic, but RIP to Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly from Kris Kross. Fuck just bumping “Jump,” I was all about their entire Totally Krossed Out album. Did I ever wear my clothes backwards? Absolutely. Well, that was until my mother slapped the shit out of me. Regardless, his legacy is solidified.

How Dare You, Jason Collins?

Posted: April 30, 2013 in Articles
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Is that how some people really feel about Jason Collins‘ announcement? If so, these fools need to find better ways to occupy their time. For those unaware, Collins recently became the first active player in one of America‘s 4 major sports to reveal his homosexuality. He wrote about it in an upcoming issue of Sports Illustrated, and truthfully, his letter was inspiring to read. I couldn’t imagine denying who I really was for the majority of my life, so I’m happy this dude is finally living his truth. Honestly, I’ve written enough about my support of the LGBT community on this site, so there’s no need to regurgitate it right now. As long as that man is enjoying his life, who are we to judge? That’s right, Chris Broussard, that goes for you too. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Unless you live a blemish free life, shut the fuck up, son. Shouldn’t you be busy getting wrong information from your “sources” anyway? It’s amazing how Christians can be the most judgmental people, when “judge not lest ye be judged” is one of their religion’s foremost principles. People these days, I tell ya.

In any case, I’m going to cut this post short today. I wholeheartedly suggest everyone reads Collins’ article in SI. Once you’re done with that, applaud that man. Deuces.

A Mother In Denial

Posted: April 29, 2013 in Articles
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Truthfully, I’m mad at myself for writing about this woman. People like her only crave attention and my stupid ass is playing right into her hands. Now in case you missed it, Zubeidat Tsarnaev, mother of suspected Boston Marathon bombers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, is insinuating the attack was fake and that America framed her children. Judging from the tidbits we’re slowly learning about this woman, she’s probably the last person who should be calling out anyone for anything. With that being said, let’s start our Monday off correctly by roasting this delusional woman.

For starters, let’s discuss this “fake” bombing. This broad had the nerve to say the blood on the ground in Boston was actually paint. Paint? Ok, tell that to this dude who no longer has legs. I’ve seen some incredible shit since the invention of CGI, but not even George Lucas could pull off a miracle like that. Her “precious” boys didn’t give 2 shits about the 8-year-old kid who was killed during their attack, so why should we even entertain her “America took my kids away from me” rants? To make matters worse, this chick was overheard discussing jihad with Tamerlan back in 2011, so she can’t even pretend to be innocent in this situation. Side bar, they knew about these people back in 2011? 2 years ago?! If the damn FBI did their job, this situation could’ve been prevented, son. Another immaculate job by the home team. In any case, I can’t take anything this shoplifting woman says seriously. Her children did what they did, so accept it. Lil ol’ Dzhokhar will never see the light of day again and that’s exactly what he deserves.

Before I go, let me tell you one thing. I’m a proud and loving parent, but if my son ever thought it was a good idea to blow up a marathon, I would lead the manhunt to bring his ass in. On top of that, I would beat him down before I turned him over to the authorities. With so many families affected by this attack, nobody’s trying to hear this woman defend her children. Maybe she should’ve thought about giving her support before her older son started throwing grenades at the police department. Good day.

G-Dub’s Dumbest Moments

Posted: April 25, 2013 in Articles
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stupid_bush

For those who are unaware, the stand-up comedian, excuse me, former president of the United States, George W. Bush, is being honored with his own library today. Every president since Herbert Hoover has been awarded one, so G-Dub is continuing the tradition. While I won’t waste any time highlighting all of the many, many, MANY ways he was an awful president, I will instead chronicle some of his stupidest statements. I mean c’mon son, this man was hilarious! If he didn’t run our country directly into the ground, I would absolute drink a beer with him and listen to his tomfoolery. In any case, I decided to pick out some of my favorite quotes and let the hilarity ensue. Enjoy!

“I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.”

“They misunderestimated me.”

“Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”

“As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured.”

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

The bad part is, I’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg of his stupidity. In any case, I feel like this is the best way to sum it all up. Good day, bitches.

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