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Loop

Before you start thinking whatever it is you’re thinking, don’t be alarmed. I will still be maintaining this blog site. However, your boy is moving up in the world, son! As it stands now, I will be writing a weekly column for the good people over at Loop21. Yes, you read that right, man. Several intelligent people thought it was a good idea to let me ramble on their site. With that being said, with great thuggery comes great responsibility. I will do my American duty and speak the unadulterated truth, regardless of how much potential trouble it may get me into.

In any case, the column revolves around my dating life. I will be chronicling the history from my days as a young (and foolish) whippersnapper to my current role as a fiancĂ© and a father. Needless to say, I will be incriminating myself on a weekly basis, so to any women who may be leading characters in some of these stories, I, Lawrence Charles, apologize to you all ahead of time. The goal is to share some life lessons through the stupid things I’ve done along the way. Are you excited yet? Of course you are!

All of the final details are being ironed out right now, but I believe the column will start running this upcoming Tuesday. As I’m sure you can figure out, I’m going to be promoting the HELL out of this thingamajig. Speaking tomfoolery on my site is one thing, but speaking tomfoolery on someone else’s site is dope, son. I want to give a shout-out to Larissa Vasquez at The Ella Project for putting me in touch with the people who know the people who know The Man. At this rate, I’ll be part of the Illuminati in no time, son. Don’t be surprised if I start acting brand new around my friends if this thing blows up. Isn’t that what Hollywood people do? Anyway, I’ll catch y’all on the other side. Good day.

Angelina

First, before I even continue, I advise everyone to read Angelina Jolie‘s op-ed in the New York Times. After watching her mother slip away due to cancer, Jolie took a gigantic step. Knowing she was at risk for not one, but two different variations of the disease, she decided to be proactive and do what she could to beat the odds. With an 87% chance of developing breast cancer and a 50% chance of developing ovarian cancer, Jolie decided to have a double mastectomy. Yes, you read that right. One of the world’s sexiest women had both of her breasts removed, and in my eyes, it couldn’t have been a better decision.

I wrote about cancer before, shortly after the death of Steve Jobs. I threw out all kinds of statistics, and even mentioned a few of my family members who have succumbed to the illness. In the span of two years, I lost two of my aunts and a cousin to three separate versions of this plague. The fact of the matter is, things aren’t improving. More and more people are taking the fall because of a disease that doesn’t discriminate. Regardless of race, gender, religion or sexual preference, we’re all at risk and it’s easy to feel powerless. However, Jolie made the choice to fight back. Due to the procedure, her risk of developing breast cancer dropped from 87% to 5%. She can sleep a little bit easier at night knowing she made a smart chess move in the fight against this deadly affliction.

With all of that being said, I’m still sad it had to come to this. If we were further along in discovering the catalyst for this disease, how to better treat it and how to handle things more preemptively, Jolie wouldn’t have had to take this step. Alas, here we are, and here she is, relaying her story to us. For such an act of bravery, she should be applauded. Now, let’s continue raising money and supporting the cause of ridding the world of an unnecessary evil. Good day.

Russell Westbrook

Disclaimer: Although I’m about to give Russell Westbrook props in this post, his fashion sense is still preposterous.

Once again, I’m grown enough to admit I was wrong. I used to give Russell Westbrook grief, son. Watching this dude take on 3 defenders in traffic with Kevin Durant open on the wing can be infuriating, man. Countless times I’ve found myself yelling at the TV, “pass the ball, dammit! Pass the fucking ball!” In my eyes, when you have KD, the most gifted scorer in the league, on your team, there’s no need to continuously go HAM during games. However, while watching the Oklahoma City Thunder play the Memphis Grizzlies, I’ve learned a valuable lesson: OKC can’t score. With that being said, my apologies, Westbrook.

After Westbrook was injured by Patrick Beverly in OKC’s first round match-up against the Houston Rockets, the Thunder have struggled to generate baskets. Last night’s overtime loss to the Grizzlies is the perfect microcosm of their issues. With no additional help, Durant took 27 shots and still ended the game with only 27 points. Serge Ibaka shot 6-13 from the field, and sadly, that’s a noticeable improvement over his last few games. Ibaka hasn’t just been missing shots, he’s been missing them horribly. Just the other game, homie shot a straightaway mid-range jump shot and somehow hit it off the backboard to the right. That’s just pitiful, bruh. Fact of the matter is, hardly anybody on OKC can create their own shot and it’s a glaring defect right now. Reggie Jackson is trying his hardest to pick up the slack, but at the end of the day, he’s still Reggie Jackson.

So to reiterate, I’d like to apologize to Russell Westbrook. I’ve shitted on him on numerous occasions, but I’m finally understanding the method to his madness. Do I still believe he takes too many shots? Absolutely, but shit man, judging from the pieces around him, he has no choice. The defending Western Conference champs are now only one loss away from their season ending in the second round. Honestly speaking, if I were an Oklahoma resident, I would pay a visit to Patrick Beverly. He thoroughly fucked their entire season and should be dealt with accordingly. Now am I advocating violence? Definitely. Good day.

P.S. Because of this post, I will no longer call him “Westbrick.” Well, for now. Who knows what the future holds, son?

Wade Robson & MJ

Let’s keep it all of the way real for a second. Molestation accusations aren’t new to the late Michael Jackson. He was first accused of misconduct in 1993, which he settled out of court, and brought to trial in 2005, where he was found not guilty on all charges. Fact of the matter is, MJ always found himself in trouble. With that being said, I don’t believe any of the words coming out of Wade Robson‘s mouth. After all of these years and all of his previous interactions with MJ, now is the time he brings up these allegations? Nah, son, he needs more people.

In case you don’t know who Robson is, here’s a brief history. He’s a famed choreographer, who’s worked with everyone from ‘N Sync to Britney Spears. He’s also an accomplished songwriter, helping Justin Timberlake write some of ‘N Sync’s hits, including “Pop” and “Gone.” He was originally discovered by MJ himself when he was kid, and appeared in his videos for “Black or White,” “Jam” and “Heal the World.” During the entire duration of his relationship with Michael, they maintained a close friendship. Robson even testified during MJ’s 2005 trial, denying ever being molested by the King of Pop. Now, all of a sudden, I’m supposed to believe he’s a “monster” who took advantage of him for 7 years? GTFOH, son.

I can tell you exactly why Robson is bringing this shit up now: the money. Don’t tell me it’s a coincidence that MJ’s estate made over $1 billion since his death and now Robson wants to sue. His claims are completely transparent, bruh. If he was really that distraught by what Michael allegedly did to him, why didn’t he speak up sooner? Better yet, why did he wait until after he’s been dead for 5 years? That math doesn’t add up to me, son.

Needless to say, Wade Robson can go somewhere with his bullshit. I don’t believe him for a second, man. In actuality, I never believed any of the accusations against Michael. I honestly believe he was a grown ass man who preferred pretending he was still in elementary school. Was it ridiculous? Absolutely, but that doesn’t necessarily make him an evil individual. It’s easy to judge, but tell me how normal you’d be if you were your family’s breadwinner from the time you were 5-years-old. Just let that man rest in peace, son. Go sit down, Robson.

Charles Ramsey

Ok, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way: Charles Ramsey is an inadvertently funny dude. Any man who can tackle McDonald’s, ribs, Salsa music and racial viewpoints in under 3 minutes is a supremely talented storyteller. With that being said, let’s not lose sight of what actually happened here. This dude helped save 3 women and 1 child from the grips of a madman. Since Ramsey’s foray into the spotlight, it’s been easy for social and news media to latch onto his colorful personality and turn something so tragic into parody. I think it’s time to slow down and figure out how this situation occurred in the first place.

Between 2002 and 2004, Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus disappeared in Cleveland, Ohio. Their ages ranged from 14 to 21 at the time and they were collectively held captive in a house by Ariel Castro for a decade. Now, the last 2 sentences alone provide more details about this case than I’ve seen in 99% of the posts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube. Instead of focusing on the terrible ordeal these women found themselves in, people would rather scream “DEAD GIVEAWAY” and make musical remixes to Ramsey’s news interview. Let’s not even start with the memes, son. Take your pick. In any case, we should spend more time on putting Ariel Castro under the jail and less time laughing at Ramsey’s unique speech patterns. The man is a hero, simple as that. He’s not a court jester or a clown, so let’s stop treating him as such. If that man wasn’t “eating [his] McDonald’s” near by, the police department might have never found those women. How about we focus on that?

All in all, I know it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind, but let’s keep things in perspective here. What happened to those women wasn’t funny, what Charles Ramsey did to help them wasn’t funny and law enforcement’s previous lack of progress wasn’t funny. I just hope those 3 women get to live the rest of their lives with a sense of normalcy, no matter how irregular that sounds.

Disclaimer: Ok, judging from that embedded image, maybe I can still hate a little bit.

While I’ve spent a good amount of time on this site throwing darts in LeBron James‘ direction, today is the day I cease and desist. Fact of the matter is, he’s too great of a player for me to continue hating. As much as I prefer being “that guy,” I have no legitimate arguments to help my case. With that being said, I shall give credit where credit is due.

Anyone who’s visited this blog before has probably read a couple of posts going for the jugular. Truthfully, I didn’t go after homie due to an inability to play. I went after him because he had all of the talent in the world and played like a bitch during crucial moments. Side bar, if you feel the need to debate me, go revisit the 2010 Eastern Conference Finals against the Boston Celtics and the 2011 Finals against the Dallas Mavericks. He quit on his team in the 1st scenario and completely shat a brick during the 2nd one. When you’re as talented as LBJ, anything less than total domination is absolutely unacceptable. Yes, his numbers were always good on paper, but when shit got real, he was nowhere to be found.

Anyway, he thoroughly disrespected me and every other “hater” with his 2012 season. Last year’s playoffs saw him playing at a level I haven’t seen since Michael Jordan. His Finals performance was one of the scariest things I’ve ever witnessed, son. It’s like he woke up one day, finally realized he was by far the most gifted player in the league and proceeded to shit on everyone. Including this season, his number are still getting better, bruh. How the fuck are they still getting better?! After the regular season this year, he had career highs in FG%, 3P% and rebounds. These days, it’s not often I’m legitimately amazed by a player. I find myself consistently saying “oh shit” when watching him and Steph Curry play. Side bar, Curry isn’t human. He. Is. Not. Human! In any case, I’ve decided to do the grown-up thing and give that man his props.

All in all, despite all of the great things I’ve just said about LeBron James, I’m still a New York Knicks fan. Which means in order for us to have a chance against the Miami Heat, we need to become the 1989 Detroit Pistons. It’s the “Jordan Rules” all over again, bitch! Bring it!

If you can recall my previous post, I’ve already shared my disillusionment with Lauryn Hill. No one can ever speak ill about her legendary career, but when you bring up Ms. Hill, you also have to bring up the fuckery. The shattered voice, the 512 kids and the tax issues. Truthfully, only the 1st item on that list is any of my business, but unfortunately, the 3rd item is impacting the 1st. Meaning, Lauryn had to sign a record contract in order to pay off her overdue taxes. What we’re left with is a brand new song I wish I didn’t hear. No matter how much die-hard fans want to like this travesty, I cannot co-sign this new shit. With that being said, I am prepared for the hate.

In case you missed it, Lauryn put out a new song the other day called “Neurotic Society.” Side bar, you can listen to the track below. Anyway, I have a few issues with this song, so let’s start with the beat. For someone as musically talented as Lauryn, this is the best instrumental she could make/find? If there was ever a beat that just seems to “happen” with no rhyme or reason, it’s this one. It’s overly loud and boisterous and doesn’t really go anywhere. Just a bunch of unnecessary drum hits and preset keyboard sounds. Next, there’s her flow. Did she even remotely try to rhyme on beat? She’s easily one of the greatest rappers ever, so what kind of tomfoolery was she engaging in here? Yes, I know she had an important message to convey, but all of it got lost in her non-rhythmic speech and poor beat selection. If she simply wanted to share her ideals, she could drop a spoken word album or some shit. If she’s going to be a musician, make sure the music is actually musical. Cool? Cool.

All in all, like I previously said, you can listen to the song below. Some people won’t agree with me, but fuck it, this is my site, son. If Lauryn decides to put out some dope shit, I will be the first one to shout it out from the mountaintops. Until then, no, I’m not interested.

DJ Mister Cee

The last time I wrote about DJ Mister Cee, I spoke about how the Black community can be intolerant to homosexuality, causing individuals to deny who they really are. Today, I only need to talk about Mister Cee. This man is so far in the closet, his denials are absolutely implausible. Maybe it’s because he’s an old school Brooklyn dude, but he refuses to acknowledge what seems evident to everyone else: he is gay. With that being said, today’s post is a plea for Mister Cee to come clean, in hopes it will set him free.

Let me make one thing clear: you can’t claim heterosexuality when you’ve been busted twice for soliciting a male prostitute. Not once, but TWICE! During the first recorded encounter, he was getting head from a dude in his car, and this time, he tried to get down with a dude who ended up being a cop. The evidence is overwhelming, bruh. The thing is, I don’t think he understands we’re not judging him for being gay. We’re judging him for getting caught in ridiculous situations and then visibly lying about it. If he just decided to date whoever he wanted to date, we’d let him rock. Who gives a shit about what he does in his bedroom? Just make sure to have the jams rocking when I turn on Hot 97 at noon.

If Mister Cee would just admit who he is, he wouldn’t have to hide his impulses in dark alleys and make ludicrous retorts on radio stations. I’m happy to say we’re living in a society that’s becoming increasingly supportive of the LGBT community, so he doesn’t have to duck in shame from his reality. There’s no better time than right now to live out in the open. Yes, it would’ve been difficult for him to do this 20 years ago, but the ‘90s are gone and we’re slowly becoming more magnanimous people. As seen with Jason Collins, there’s support out there for guys (and gals) who own up to how they feel. Hopefully, just hopefully, Mister Cee will get the message.

The year was 2004 and I was a bright-eyed sophomore in college. See, in the world I lived in, the sky was blue and teams who were up 3-0 in a best-of-7 series always won. However, the New York Yankees had to fuck it all up and shatter my world. After having a commanding lead over the Boston Red Sox in the ALCS, these fuckers lost 4 straight games. Seeing as how I went to school in Boston, this might have been the worst possible thing to ever happen to me. Needless to say, after watching my New York Knicks lose their 2nd straight game to the Boston Celtics, my nightmares are slowly resurfacing.

For a team with minimal playoff experience, the last thing the Knicks should want to do is play a Game 6 on the road against a former world champion. Fact of the matter is, despite their accelerated age, the Celtics are no strangers to this type of pressure. Just 2 years ago, these dudes pushed the Miami Heat to 7 games, when everyone simply assumed LeBron James and company would steamroll them. From the beginning of the series, I told people, “never count these dudes out.” Now did I get comfortable with a 3-0 lead? Absolutely, but then Carmelo Anthony decided it was a perfect time to shit the bed. His shooting percentage these last 2 games have been atrocious, man. Here’s a message for coach Mike Woodson: go with the hot hand! As much as I enjoy hating on Raymond Felton, he’s been holding it down while the rest of the team collapses. In addition, if JR Smith wants to keep shooting like he did the last game, he might as well return to suspension, son. While I still believe the Knicks will close these dudes out, they’ve just made their lives a hell of a lot harder.

All in all, I’m probably overreacting, but when you’ve seen a team you love blow a 3-0 series lead, you tend to panic. Also, my psyche wouldn’t be able to take another New York team epically failing to a Boston team. Side bar, is “epically” even a word? It sounds wrong, but fuck it, I’ll use it anyway. In any case, if shit goes sour, I might have to start assaulting all of my New England associates. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that, son. Good day.

P.S. I know this is completely off topic, but RIP to Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly from Kris Kross. Fuck just bumping “Jump,” I was all about their entire Totally Krossed Out album. Did I ever wear my clothes backwards? Absolutely. Well, that was until my mother slapped the shit out of me. Regardless, his legacy is solidified.

Is that how some people really feel about Jason Collins‘ announcement? If so, these fools need to find better ways to occupy their time. For those unaware, Collins recently became the first active player in one of America‘s 4 major sports to reveal his homosexuality. He wrote about it in an upcoming issue of Sports Illustrated, and truthfully, his letter was inspiring to read. I couldn’t imagine denying who I really was for the majority of my life, so I’m happy this dude is finally living his truth. Honestly, I’ve written enough about my support of the LGBT community on this site, so there’s no need to regurgitate it right now. As long as that man is enjoying his life, who are we to judge? That’s right, Chris Broussard, that goes for you too. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Unless you live a blemish free life, shut the fuck up, son. Shouldn’t you be busy getting wrong information from your “sources” anyway? It’s amazing how Christians can be the most judgmental people, when “judge not lest ye be judged” is one of their religion’s foremost principles. People these days, I tell ya.

In any case, I’m going to cut this post short today. I wholeheartedly suggest everyone reads Collins’ article in SI. Once you’re done with that, applaud that man. Deuces.