I Can't Be Famous

They always say you shouldn’t make fun of people with disabilities, and you shouldn’t, but regardless of what you think is wrong with Charlie Sheen, it’s hilaaaarious. This man is either a genius or a “Top 5 Dead or Alive” train wreck (© Jadakiss). Apparently it pays to be out of your damn mind, because this dude has set the Guinness record for most twitter followers in a day, been on every damn news station despite real issues going on in the world, and now, he’s going on a live tour. You heard that right people, Carlos Estevez is going on tour. If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to do “Scarface” levels of cocaine, but still manage to make $2 mil an episode and live with two chicks half your age, now is your chance to learn the Jedi secret. His shows in Detroit and Chicago have already sold out in 18 minutes, which is of course a new Ticketmaster record. I’m trying to refrain from saying he’s “winning,” but what else do you call that son?! Who knows how this will all end for your man, he’s already lost his kids, but at least he’s a better functioning addict than Amy Winehouse.

Now for your listening pleasure, the 3rd greatest song ever recorded (only because this is the greatest, and this is 2nd).